Dear Dragon Prince

Well, chances are if you can read, you've heard of the advice column. It's that spot in the paper where strange people ask even stranger questions, and the advice helps them solve their problem.. or not. As one of the top authorities in the Jusenkyo area, seems sound that a few might try writing the Dragon Prince!

Dear Dragon Prince...

Dear Arrogant Prince
Heh, so this is all you've got? One little shrine? You know, some of us have all sorts of shrines, art, fan fiction and merchandise showing off just how cool we really are. Guess there's a reason why you lost our last fight. So tell me, how does it feel to know you've gotten your backside kicked by the world's number 1# martial artist?
-Martial Arts Master

Dear Martial Arts Master
I was beaten by the world's number 1# martial artist? Odd, I have no memory of that, only once being defeated by some scrawny Japanese boy. Meanwhile, the score's still Herb= 3 Ranma =1. Perhaps we need a rematch for you to learn your place.

As for the shrine status, there's a saying for such matters. Ever heard of quality over quantity?
-DP

Dear Dragon Prince
There are these girls that I'm rather fond of. For the first, I've been madly in love with her since shortly after we met, but sometimes I don't think she sees me as more than a friend. I've tried to talk to her about it, but for some reason they keep moving her home, and I'm stuck wandering around for days before I find it. Worse, every time I try to tell her, I become a coward! I also have ah... condition, that I'm not sure would go over well. She's engaged to another guy though, one who's a total, immoral jerk! She hates him (I think, most of the time...) and I think she would be happier with me.

The other girl is very sweet and kind, has no problem with my "condition", and, while she moves around too, seems better at finding me. However, if I go with her, I'm leaving girl 1# in the hands of that pervert! What should I do?
-Lost Boy


Dear Lost Boy...
Hmmm, well in ancient times you could always take one as a concubine, but that sort of practice isn't really respected these days, and you risk getting pounded on suggestion. My advice is to pound the pervert flat first, since that way no matter whom you choose, you won't be leaving one to his (very evil if he is one of those hentai scum) clutches. Then make up your mind. Since girl 2# has less problems with your problems, she might be the way to go.
-DP

Dear Violent Dragon boy
Shampoo need to know- is you really girl type or boy type? If you is boy type, are you strong enough to beat Shampoo? Shampoo is tired of waiting for Japanese Airen to confess his love for wife; Great grandmother tell Shampoo you is very strong Chinese Prince. Is true? If so, would you fight Shampoo? Would make good airen?
- Amazon Princess


Dear Amazon Princess
As a prince, I obviously cannot simply "agree" to become the husband of a local commoner. However, it has come to my attention that you may have some pedigree, and fighting ability. After careful consultation with my advisors, it has been suggested we consider an interview to determine
the possibilities. I'll bring my fighting abilities, you bring the candles & wine.
-DP

Dear Hot Dragon Babe
SWEETO!
-Happy


Dear Happy
I deeply regret that your additional gift, which I presume was some sort of pet, has (hopefully) passed on. My sincerest apologies for obliterating the elderly gentleman (or monkey, or turtle, or whatever the heck it was) however, his wrinkled visage, coupled with his cold water splash and horrid behavior on my person caused an extreme reaction, and I required my servants to re-burn the ashes.

By the way, what the heck does "Sweeto" mean?
-DP

Dear white-haired goddess
I have seen thy form as thou was exiting our fair Narima streets, and have heard that you once smited that foul sorcerer Ranma Satome. Therefor, because you have proven your worth, I shall allow you to date me!
-Blue Thunder


Dear Blue Thunder
Alas, I'm afraid I am uncomfortable dating individuals who are so clearly in need of professional help. My sincere apologies for whatever psychological disorder or brain damage you may have been feeling at the time of your writing. Rest assured that if you do approach me in such a manner, I shall personally attend to your medical well-being, and see that you are placed within hospital care immediately.
-DP

Dear Pompous Ass
Herb? Lime? Mint? You and your fellow Musk sound like ingredients in a kitchen! Who the heck names you guys, some chick with a cooking fetish?
-None of your business


Dear "None of your business"
Ahhh, Chinese naming traditions are unique aren't they? Personally though, I like my name: strong, simple, and most foreigners don't screw up when I'm overseas. On the other hand, it could have been *much* worse. I recall a story I heard down at Jusenkyo, about some poor sucker who got dunked in a monster spring, and stuck with the name "Pantyhouse" somethingorother. Of course, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?

Heh.
-DP

Dear Dragon Prince
My father has engaged me to the son of his best friend, and I don't know what to do about him. On the one hand, he's strong, slightly cute (not that I'd ever tell him so, but still...) and when the chips are down, he actually can be a pretty good guy, helping others, standing up for people, and saving me from multiple kidnappings. On the other hand, he's an arrogant insensitive jerk who flirts with other girls, acts lazy around the house, doesn't take my martial arts seriously, won't eat my cooking, calls me uncute and insults my every move. Our fathers insist that we get married, and sometimes I think I might be okay with it, but other times he makes me want to scream! What should I do?
-Hammer Girl


Dear Hammer Girl
Hmmm... I must admit, if I were engaged to a boy like that, I'd scream too, abet for additional reasons. It sounds to me like you've got a few issues yourself though: "my cooking" "my martial arts", " _me_ uncute" and "my every move". Methinks you might want to do some reevaluations first, figure out if it's him, or your moves really do need some work. Then, if it is him, have the whole thing dropped.

Dear Dragon Prince
Is it true that you and your human ancestors mated with wild animals? That's SICK!
-Yuri Okomyoto


Dear Yuri Okomyoto
For your information, the women our Musk ancestors took to wife were *humans*: once submersed in Niannichan* and than locked with the Chissiton* they retained their female bodies for life. Think of stories like the man married to the tiger princess who changed into her true form every full moon, or the great white naga that changed into a woman to marry her beloved fisherman or other such nonsense. My ancestors simply pushed the fairy tales along.

As for your questioning of *my* habits, I'm tempted to blast you where you write this instant. We gave that practice up centuries ago.
-DP

Dear Dragon Prince
I've noticed that you have really odd hair. I mean, it's strange enough to see a guy with pink hair, but a pink and white ponytail with blue side locks? Who does your styling? What shampoo/conditioner do you use?
-Lousy Locks


Dear Lousy Locks
My hair is groomed regularly by myself or another expert in hair care maintenance professional, preferably those who speak five languages, can solve advanced physics equations in the blink of an eye, or subscribe to the school of Martial Arts Hair Styling. I don't trust Lime or Mint within ten feet of my perfect tresses, which is one of the reasons why I rarely have it cut. As for shampoo, I use the foreigner product named for royalty: Herbal Essences.
-DP

Dear fellow royal..
Hmmm, so tell me Herb, how does it feel to know that in the giant scheme of things you were simply another opponent as oppose to the end-all villain? Without an animated appearance to boot? Such a shame. How's that curse by the way, now that Jusenkyo's all dried up? Hmmmmmmm?
-Saffron


Dear Saffron
For your information it was I who decided not to make the appearance in the anime, least my voice be butchered when shipped overseas in English. I have however, found your curse taunts rather amusing, particularly with your rediscovered toddler status.

So tell me, how does it feel to be wearing diapers again?
**smirk**
-DP