The Spice of Life

part 2

By: Cat Who <tprara@catwho.net>

* * * Deep in L-Space * * * Not bad so far, Setsuna thought, turning to the next chapter with interest. Shame about the Ranma/Akane secondary pairing though. She'd never been fond of it; it was so unoriginal and boring. Even though the characters were seemingly incompatible, a lot of the universes created by the writers paired them together. Ah, well, since this story was obviously focusing on an even more unlikely couple, perhaps the person who created this particular universe was keeping all other things boring on purpose.

Better Ranma with Akane than Shampoo, though, Setsuna added to herself, and shuddered. Not that she disliked the purple-haired girl. On the contrary, she liked her very much. She just didn't like her winning Ranma.

She continued reading. Around her, universes were quietly created in the hands of writers everywhere.

------------
The Spice of Life [Chapter Two]
An Herb/Kodachi fic
Commissioned by Prince Herb
Written by Cat Who
Beta Read by Rezantis

For Daddy . . .

------------

* * *

Cat Cafe, Nerima District, Tokyo

* * *

"The Demon Air? Oh, that's a bad one all right," Cologne said with a sage nod, setting a bowl of ramen on the table. Prince Herb had dropped in moments ago, and was explaining her plight to the withered Amazon clan leader.

"Your cousin Rinse said that a spice in Hokkaido might help me." Herb, currently in her female form, was waiting for a hot water kettle to finish heating so that she might return to her true self. Stupid curse. One little shower of rain and her shame was exposed for the world to see.

"She must be referring to the Hebereke Moss."

"Yes, she said it was on Mt. Hebereke."

"Just having the spice-moss won't be enough to cure the Demon Air, though," Cologne said, raising one pencil thin eyebrow. "I hope she told you that you'll need a female virgin witch to brew it. Your female half doesn't qualify, you know. You're probably not a . . . well . . ."

Herb glared at Cologne, daring her to continue.

"You're not a witch." Cologne finished calmly. Herb hated herself for blushing. The female half did that all too easily.

"Rinse said that there was a witch in Nerima."

"Oh, yes, there are several witches in Nerima. A few blocks over, you see, is a witch's girl's school. Founded by the originator of the potion you're seeking to brew, no less. St. Hebereke's Girl's School is the most exclusive private female school in all of Tokyo. And with good reason. Only witches are invited to attend."

Herb slammed her fist on the table. "Then I simply have to find one who is a virgin and take her along with me, right?"

Cologne said nothing for a moment, but then went to check on the teakettle, which had started steaming. "Finding a virgin in Tokyo in this day and age is a getting bit difficult, I'm afraid. Even at an all girl's school. And it's not something you can exactly ask up front."

"Why not? In the Musk kingdom, if a warrior has lain with --"

"Things are different here. While the girls are segregated in schools occasionally, that doesn't mean they're not allowed to interact with males at all. And it is very rude to ask. You'll be slapped silly and called a pervert, even in your girl half." Cologne handed her the teakettle.

Herb resisted the childlike urge to grumble and poured the hot water on her head. The liquid firmed his chin, broadened his shoulders, flattened his chest, and added a good foot of height to his female half's already tall frame. His mind changed as well. He did not become smarter, or less emotional, or angrier; Herb was still Herb. But the female half had annoyingly different ways of looking at the world. Female Herb found things . . . cute. He quickly dried himself with a towel to keep the water from cooling and reactivating the curse.

"In a few years, Jusenkyo will hopefully be settled enough to allow you to get rid of that curse," Cologne said, taking the now empty tea kettle and refilling it. "Son-in-law will be fighting you for the first place in line for the Nannichuan."

"He'll fight and lose in that case," Herb said fiercely. His curse had been brought on by his own stupidity, and it caused him far more embarrassment than he'd ever admit. Open water containers had been banned in the palace, even. He'd managed to keep it a secret from everyone but Lime and Mint that way, and yet it seemed as if it were only a matter of time before the Musk warriors caught on that their leader was half woman. A thought suddenly occurred to him. "Assuming I find a virgin witch and create the potion, will the panacea of Hebereke also work on curses?"

Cologne turned around, and stared at him thoughtfully. Apparently, the idea had never occurred to her.

"It might," she said slowly, pulling on her chin. "It just might. Be sure to try it. If it does, I wouldn't mind borrowing some of it. Shampoo cannot marry Son-in-Law in her condition, and he's afraid to marry anyone. Ridding them both of their curses would be very, very good."

Herb nodded. It would indeed be very, very good to become a whole man again.

"Well," Cologne said, slapping her hand on the table, "that just leaves the matter of finding a witch and getting you both to Mt. Hebereke before the full moon. It's in a week and a half, you know. The potion has to be brewed fresh, or else it loses potency. You'll have to be back in China when you make it for it to have the strength to cure Demon Air." A jangle at the door let Cologne know that a customer had entered, and she looked expectantly toward the front of the restaurant. "Oh ho," she said quietly. "I'd almost forgotten about that one."

"Greetings, Elder," Kodachi Kuno said in perfect Mandarin, causing Herb to turn his head in surprise. "I have come for a bowl of your delicious ramen."

"Have a seat," Cologne answered in Japanese, and motioned to the table nearest Herb. "I'll be with you shortly." Cologne ran to fetch a pot of tea.

Kodachi gave a glamorous smile and sat demurely at the table, putting her heavy schoolbag beside her. She picked up the waiting menu and studied it intently, which gave Herb the opportunity to study her in turn.

She was beautiful. Tall, like his own female half, and lithe; he could see that even through her heavy school uniform. Her raven hair was pulled to the side in a ponytail, a style that he been popular the decade before but which suited the girl perfectly. Her bangs had been teased, and they framed a flawless face. Dark, thick lashes emphasized her watery gray eyes. And her lips . . . they were full and pouty, yet dainty all at the same time.

She felt him staring at her, and looked over her menu at him. Herb caught her eye for a moment, and then looked away, angry and embarrassed. Females were a distraction he could not afford. Jusenkyo had taught him that much. That was why he'd refused to interview any more after the disaster with the Ladle, despite his advisor's daily complaints. Having his heirs could wait until after he was whole again.

Cologne returned with the teapot and two cups. She seated herself right at Kodachi's table while she waited for the girl to order. Apparently they were more than just acquaintances.

"How are your studies, Kodachi?" Cologne said innocently, pouring them both tea. Herb busied himself with his bowl of ramen, but kept his slightly pointed ears open.

"Fabulous as always. My Potions professor recommended that I consider a career as a professional apothecary. Potions are my specialty, you know."

"Of course. Gotten Son-in-Law into any trouble lately?"

Kodachi flushed, something that Cologne had never seen before. Herb found it oddly endearing.

"I have not. Actually, I have a question for you. Are there any known cures to transfiguration curses?"

Cologne managed to keep her face carefully blank. So, Kodachi had finally figured out Son-in-Law's plight. This was going to be too easy . . .

"There are some. Most are impossible to do without magic, however."

"That is of course no problem for me," Kodachi said with an enigmatic smile. "I would do anything to cure the curse that . . . that Tendou girl inflicted upon my beloved. How she did so with no magic is beyond my comprehension, but I will undo her foul sorcery and restore him."

This time Cologne seemed to be shaking with silent laughter. Kodachi did not notice it, although Herb did, and it was making him angry for some reason he couldn't fathom.

"Anything?" Cologne asked.

"Anything."

"Then, Prince Herb, it appears I have found you your witch." She turned to Herb, and gestured toward Kodachi. "Prince Herb of the Musk Kingdom, I present to you Kodachi Kuno. Kodachi, Witch-in-training, I present to you Prince Herb."

Kodachi leveled another look at him that make his ears go red with embarrassment, and he returned the look stare for stare in an effort to hide his own uncomfortable reaction to her.

"We were just discussing a curative for transfiguration curses. There is a spice-moss that the founder of your school discovered when she went into seclusion in Hokkaido, a spice that can supposedly cure all manner of illnesses -- and in all likelihood curses as well. It sounds like you both can help each other."

Kodachi shifted her glare to Cologne, the soft demureness of moments before now completely gone. "Explain yourself, Elder."

"Prince Herb is in need of the panacea, too. He can better explain it to you than I can, though." Without asking, Cologne picked up Kodachi's tea and set it on Herb's table. Kodachi started to object, but Cologne spoke again before she had a chance. "You have to work quickly. You only have a week and a half before it's too late, after all . . ."

Reluctantly, Kodachi joined Herb at his table. "Your Highness," she said, remembering her manners, and Herb nodded in acknowledgement.

"Elder, I shall partake of the creamy chicken ramen today," Kodachi told Cologne. The Amazon leader took her menu and left to the back to make it and to leave the two alone.

Cologne was more than pleased with herself. She'd be helping Herb (fine upstanding boy, good potential match for some of the weaker Amazon females) AND she'd be getting rid of one of Shampoo's rivals for a whole week. In the event that the panacea also cured the Jusenkyo curse, she'd be able to marry Son-in-law to Shampoo immediately. And if it didn't, well, at least they would still save the people of the Musk Kingdom. Amazons weren't *always* self- interested, after all.

"You too are interested in finding a cure for transfiguration curses?" Kodachi said in Mandarin by way of conversation starter.

Herb phrased his next sentence carefully. "I am interested in the potion that cures all things, so yes, I am. I am more interested in the healing properties of this potion, though. My kingdom has fallen under a sickness that I must fight."

Kodachi nodded in understanding, some of her earlier charm and warmth returning. "How very noble. I, also, seek a cure for a noble reason. I seek mine for love. My fiance has been cursed to change into girl when rained upon."

Herb nearly choked on his ramen. Kodachi mistook his horror as compassion. "Dreadful, isn't it? But my darling Ranma has been bewitched by dark sorcery. I will do all in my power to restore him."

Ranma? She was engaged to that whiny little half-bitch that flaunted her shame in public? The insect who had lost the Open Water Kettle forever? But . . . wait a minute. This girl wasn't the one who'd approached him in the cafe all those months ago . . . had Ranma actually switched women so quickly?

Then he remembered Cologne once mentioning that Shampoo was one of four major rivals. The pieces fell into place. Kodachi was also one of the four. And Ranma had deluded her into falling in love with him . . . Herb vowed that if he ever saw that pig-tailed worm again, he would not let him survive the day.

Cologne returned with Kodachi's ramen. In her hand she also had a notepad, and while the two teenagers ate, she scribbled down plans.

"Kodachi, getting time off from school won't be a problem for you, will it? Of course not, why am I asking, this is Nerima . . . you'll need to take the train to Sapporro. That shouldn't take more than a day . . . you could fly by plane, too, but tickets on such short notice would cost hundreds of thousands of yen . . . once in Sapporo, you can catch a bus to one of the ski inns. You'll only have a few days to travel to Mr. Hebereke in Daisetsuzen National Park and retrieve the spice. Don't let any moonlight touch it until both you reach China."

"China? And why, pray tell, am I going to China?"

"Because you are the only one who can brew the potion, Kodachi Kuno, and it must be brewed in China first," Cologne said sharply.

At that moment a miserable, wet purple kitty came in the front door, bearing an empty take out ramen box in her mouth. A damp sleeve dangled out of the top. The box was heavy, and the kitty struggled mightily to hold it off the ground. All three humans watched in fascination. She padded to the serving counter, and dropped it off on the floor, then disappeared into the back rooms of the restraint.

"I hope that delivery got there before the rainstorm, Shampoo," Cologne called, and then excused herself to go clean up the empty ramen box.

"It did," Shampoo answered from the back rooms. Evidently she'd transformed as soon as she'd come in. "Wet clothes in box. Rain hit right after Shampoo deliver food."

"Why does she speak Japanese in here?" Herb asked, frowning. "Especially such *bad* Japanese?"

"I believe it's to impress my Ranma," Kodachi said with a smirk. "She fails utterly."

Herb decided not to comment on that. That Ranma had impressed far too many women on his own bothered him even more than Cologne's laughter at the witch.

The Musk had always isolated their warriors from women, preferring to train them without the distractions. Most had only rumors of women until they were of age to have their own children, and even then the men and women lived entirely separate lives. But Ranma was surrounded by women here . . . he was promised to four of them, no less, and yet he had almost beaten Herb on his last visit (Herb wasn't quite ready to call it a true defeat.)

Could it be that thousands of years of tradition were wrong? Did the distraction of women truly not matter to training?

"Back to our plans, then," Kodachi said, breaking his reverie. She sipped her tea primly. "I still do not understand why I am required to go to China."

Herb gritted his teeth. "You're required because without your help hundreds of people will die. I need a witch. That is you."

Kodachi raised one elegant eyebrow. "Hundreds of people don't matter as much to me as Ranma."

Herb goggled. She was . . . insane. He felt his battle aura flare up in anger. Witch, indeed. He had to force himself to calm down. There was still one important requirement that he had to know about Kodachi. Was she still pure?

"Of course . . . if I am solely responsible for the healthy restoration of an entire kingdom, it is sure to mark favorably with Ranma," the witch continued. "Perhaps I should go . . ."

"Before we make travel plans, I have a serious question," Herb said, keeping his voice calm. "Have you been taken by Ranma or any other man?"

"What?"

"I said, have you been taken by Ranma? Are you still a virgin?"

Kodachi's face turned a mottled red from shock and anger. "What sort of question is that to ask a lady?" Her hand raised, as if to slap him, just like Cologne had said it would.

"The panacea requires a virgin, that's why," he said, hating having to defend himself. However, her hand dropped immediately.

"Oh, it's one of those kind of potions," she said, some of the anger draining away. "In that case . . . Ranma and I have yet to consummate our love."

She put everything so dramatically.

"Then it's settled. We should leave immediately."

"We cannot," Kodachi said, and grabbed the sheet of paper that Cologne had been scribbling on. "I'll have to run home and fetch my cauldron, my potions kit -- magical potions don't brew themselves -- and I'll need the recipe." She frowned. "That'd be in the Restricted Section of the Library . . . probably in Hebereke-sama's herbal journals . . ."

"The recipe? Wouldn't it be just a tisane with the moss?"

"For this sort of potion, it's extremely doubtful. You don't need a witch to make a tea. You need a witch with the knowledge of magical potions and the skills to brew one properly. You also need the recipe. Before we can go anywhere, I'll need to get to the school."

"I want to leave tonight," Herb said urgently.

Cologne came over with Kodachi's ramen, and chimed in. "Herb is right. The sooner you leave, the better."

"Then you'll have to help me break into the school. And I'll have to pack."

"Wherever you going, you stay there," Shampoo commented offhandedly, coming out from the back rooms. She had changed into a dry outfit. "Any more deliveries Shampoo need to make, great-grandmother?"

"Mousse headed out with the last order, so we're good for now. However, with the rain, I expect we'll have a lot of orders for dinner. Be prepared."

"Okay, great-grandmother." Shampoo left again, with a final rival- stare at Kodachi. Kodachi had taken out her ribbon wrapped wand and was tapping it against her arm in a mildly threatening manner.

During that brief exchange, Herb had finished his ramen, and Kodachi had picked at her own sufficiently to be full.

"How long will it take you to gather the things you need?" Herb asked.

"Breaking into St Hebereke is no easy matter, and although I have done it before, it will still take some time. As it is approaching nightfall, we should head there first."

In silent agreement they rose, and paid Cologne for their respective meals. Herb grabbed his traveling bundle from where he had stashed it, and tossed on his cloak in case it rained again.

They had formed a partnership for their endeavor, for better or for worse.

* * * St Hebereke's Girl's School (of Witchcraft), Nerima, Tokyo * * *

The rain had stopped, fortunately, leaving all of Nerima fresh and clean in the twilight. St. Hebereke's stood like a monument among manicured lawns, safely shielded from prying eyes by a ten-foot tall hedge. The middle of a city as large as Tokyo was an unusual place for a school of magic, but Nerima had traditionally been a center of chaos, and with all the low-grade magic from curses nowadays polluting the air, one who was searching it wouldn't be able to see the forest for the trees.

"I'll break directly into the library," Kodachi said, as they entered the school grounds. "You need to stay hidden. There are . . . foul creatures that roam the campus of which you must be wary."

"I'll be careful. Watch out for yourself. I don't want to have to find another witch."

"You fret unnecessarily, ohji-sama. As I said, I have done this before."

Kodachi directed him behind a bush, and then took out her ribbon. She unfurled it, and whispered "Extend!" to it in Latin, the language of witches and wizards worldwide. Dead language or not, it had served them for several millennia. Chinese worked just as well; for that matter, Japanese did too, but since Latin was taught by the three major European schools, the trustees of Hebereke had ordered the teachers to switch to Latin as well during the Meiji Era.

Immediately the ribbon began to grow, accompanied by a shower of sparks from the wand, and she did not command it to stop until it was nearly twenty feet long. She whispered another spell and the end of the ribbon became heavy and sticky. This she hurled high into the air. The heavy end of the ribbon attached itself firmly to the wall, and Kodachi tugged it a few times to ensure that it held fast.

Then she began to rappel right up the sheer face of the school wall. Good, she thought to herself, so far none of the alarms have caught on. Like all schools of magic, St Hebereke's was guarded by some very powerful spells. The only reason she hadn't tripped the alarms was because the school recognized her as a student.

Once she was level with the library window, on the second story, she pulled a glasscutter from her bag and carefully made a circle in the nearest pane. This she popped through, and then reached inside to pulled open the latch. Still no alarms. She opened the window, and with a balance earned through years of martial arts rhythmic gymnastics, she angled her body through one-handed, and landed upright on the floor inside. She glanced outside to see Prince Herb looking at her impatiently.

The library was dark and dim, and the darkness pressed upon her. She detached her ribbon, dropped it on the floor, and whispered "Lumos" to her wand. A small light appeared on the end. She dropped her bag on a table, and started searching the library.

Let's see . . . Hebereke-sama's journals are down that aisle . . .

It didn't take her long to find the Hokkaido journals, and she quickly flipped through the ancient scrolls until she found the recipes.

"Panacea . . . panacea . . . ah! 'A curative for all demon-born illnesses may be extracted from a certain moss that grows on my mountain. It has worked on all illnesses I have tested it on. However, the curative is difficult to brew, and only receives its magical properties when brewed on the night of the full moon.' This is it. Now, my darling Ranma, I shall be able to free you from the affliction wrought upon you."

Kodachi quickly copied the recipe, and put the scroll back. The other ingredients were rare, but not impossible to find, and she actually had most of them in her Potions kit at home. She could find fresh cloves at any market, and thyme as well. But the spice-moss . . . Hebereke-sama had insisted it only grew on her mountain, in small patches in the shade by her cave. Once harvested, it could not see the moonlight until the night of the full moon, or else the special reaction that gave it its properties would take place prematurely and incompletely.

This leg of the mission complete, Kodachi swung her bag over her shoulder, reattached her ribbon to the wand, and leapt lightly through the window, landing gently on the ground even after a second story drop. Prince Herb looked almost . . . impressed? Well, naturally he would have to be impressed by one so beautiful and agile as herself. Gymnasts were renowned around the world for their grace.

She whispered the Unbreaking spell, and the window returned back to the way it was before. She then unstuck and unshrunk her ribbon, and wrapped it around the wand.

"Too easy," she said arrogantly, and turned to go. Herb started to follow her . . . and it was then that one of the school demons decided to show up.

"A male?" the demon whispered, causing both Kodachi and Herb to turn around in alarm. The demon was a rather small, red, heavily made-up squid. "Ohhhhh . . . how papparapoo!" The demon puckered her lips, closed her eyes, and began advancing upon Herb. "Give me a kiss, you papparapoo thing, you."

Kodachi's eyes widened. Without thinking, she grabbed Herb's hand and whispered, "Run!"

They ran.

"Ohhhh, come back! Noeru wants to be with you! Waaaaaaait!" The squid ran as fast as her ten legs could carry her, but she was no match for the two trained martial artists. Finally, at the edge of school grounds, the squid gave up and stopped chasing them.

"I take it that was one of the foul creatures you were referring to?" Herb said as they both ran as fast as they could. Neither of them were winded, despite their fast pace.

"Noeru the Squid is one of the more frightening ones, yes," Kodachi answered. "Be glad it wasn't Myu-zu. We wouldn't have out-run her. She's a shape shifter."

They did not stop running until they were well out of sight of the school. Kodachi dropped his hand, and they both took a few seconds to let the adrenaline seep from their blood.

The sun was setting now, and it stained them in shades of crimson and orange.

"I must pack for a week's journey. My house is not far from here. I take it you are prepared for such an extended trip?" she asked, gesturing toward the elegant pack he had slung over his shoulder. He nodded. "We shall leave on the night train, then."

They walked toward the Kuno mansion quickly, and in silence.

* * *

Kuno Mansion, Nerima, Tokyo

* * *

Herb was not really impressed by Kodachi's home. True, by Japanese standards, it was enormous; it looked as if it even had a small dojo inside of it; but to Herb, who had grown up in traditional China in an ancient palace, it was too new, and too Western looking.

Acting the good hostess, she had settled him down at the main room with tea and a small plate of canapes (which Herb, having gotten a sense of Kodachi's personality, did *not* eat) while she ran upstairs to pack. Herb had a slightly more pressing need than food, however, and had to search through several doors before he found the guest toilet.

She had left her schoolbag downstairs, he noticed, once he had refreshed himself. Not even thinking twice about it, he peered inside the bag.

It was so *feminine*. Black gewgaws and trinkets were piled upon fuzzy black notebooks and black feathered quill pens. The girl obviously had a fondness for black that went beyond the school dress code. The only colorful thing inside the whole bag was a thick, opaque red liquid inside a corked flask. Curious, Herb unstopped the flask and ran it beneath his nose. It smelled like roses and cinnamon and mint. He wondered what it was . . . a perfume? It didn't smell like she had. Kodachi smelled of roses alone.

He put the flask back in her bag, and turned to her fuzzy black notebook. Why it was fuzzy was beyond his understanding. He'd have to look at it through the eyes of his girl half some time to see the appeal.

Inside the notebook . . . it appeared to be her journal. He had intended only to look for the recipe, to see exactly all the spice- moss panacea entailed, but he found himself reading her journal entries unconsciously. They were all written in black ink, in perfect and exacting Japanese. And they all seemed to talk about Ranma.

"Today my darling Ranma evaded my paralysis-potion-laden cookies. However, I managed to obtain a photograph, which, when altered slightly, shows how he and I shared a tender moment in the park. I have magically reproduced thousands of copies of the photo to share our joy, and hidden the negative on Mr. Turtle's collar . . ."

Disgusted, Herb replaced the journal, and dug around a bit more, blushing extremely red when he found several very personal and feminine articles. He then encountered the videotape.

The cover simply said "Ranma."

"She's more than just engaged to him," Herb whispered to himself, "she's obsessed beyond all reason." What could he have possibly done to her to earn that level of mad devotion? Females. Maybe THIS was why for millennia the Musk had trained away from them. Not to avoid being distracted by them, but to avoid driving them insane.

Kodachi emerged from her room, with a single rolling suitcase and a sleeping bag wrapped around a tent. Her wand and ribbon were clutched in the other hand. She had changed, too, and Herb stared for a moment before leaping away from her bag. Belatedly, he realized he was still holding the video, and he slipped it onto a bookshelf, and hoped she wouldn't notice it there.

Kodachi's traveling outfit was an all black, exquisitely tailored suit with embroidered white and red roses on the pockets. Her luggage also bore the black, red, and white rose motif. The skirt was . . . short, exposing shapely legs, which were accented by a pair of tiny black shoes. She had pulled her hair back into a bun, so that the slender column of her neck looked even more delicate. And the blazer . . . the neckline plunged low, hinting at the generous expanse of breasts beneath. Despite all that he'd been through, Herb still loved breasts (on true females, anyway. He hated his own.) Saotome was insane to resist the advances of Kodachi, Herb decided, no matter how crazy she was.

It was only after he'd calmed his suddenly raging hormones down that he stated the obvious. He crossed his arms angrily. "You can't possibly expect to go mountain climbing in that . . . outfit."

"Of course I don't. This is for the night train. I, Kodachi, do have an appearance to maintain. I shall dress for the occasion on each leg of our journey. Now, we must travel quickly to the train station. I checked the schedules on the Internet while I was upstairs, and a train is leaving for Sapporo at nine PM." She finally came down the stairs, and Herb forced himself not to look at her legs, which were clad in sheer stockings.

"You didn't like the canopes? Pity, they're quite good," Kodachi scolded, and popped one in her mouth. When she didn't turn into a frog or suddenly go stiff with paralysis, Herb was almost disappointed, and he regretted not trying one. She left her luggage in the living room and cleaned up the tea things, then grabbed a black jacket from the hat rack by the door, and her schoolbag.

They departed for the train station, the video forgotten on the shelf. ------------

End Chapter 2

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